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[geri]

1.Брато, отказвам се от даскало, край, няма да уча повече!

2.Че защо така , бе брато?

1.Не искам да ставам абитуриент! В никакъв случай!

2.Верно бе, ужас, то матури, по кандидат-студентски изпити , тестове и всякакви изтощителни дейности за големия, малкия и даже гръбначния им мозък!

1.Не бе брато, не за изливането на сиво вещество ти говоря....Вчера слушам нашите абитуриенти какви огромни проблеми имат и се отчаях...
Едната мацка се оплаква:” Муцка, просто съм превъртяла вече, не мога да намеря искрящо кобалтово синя мачкана коприна с елмазени капки за наметалото ми, а трябва да го комбинирам с обувките” Маноло Бланик” от кожа на комодски варан , като на Сара Джесика Паркър от 208 серия на “Сексът и градът” , нали се сещаш?”
А другата казва:” Какво говориш, бейби, аз имам по-голям проблем! Обиците ми от розови перли със златен обков и гравирани газели върху тях, ох , не , не мога да го преживея- и Пенелопа-Дездемона, оная зле изрусената от “Б” клас и тя си е поръчала такива и то газелите и били от нефрит!!!!!”
Представяш ли си , брато, какви тежнения , какви драми!

2.Това нищо не е, вчера един пич се оплакваше , че майка му изкупила всички бутици на “Витошка”, но ризите пак не му седяли толкова фешън, колкото на Бекъм, че сега прескочила до Лондон, ама си била резервирала и билет до Ню Йорк да надникне и на “Пето авеню”, за всеки случай, ако нещо пак не му хареса.
А баща му – бедния, имал само 3 мерцедеса, а детето искало да е с “Ягуар” последен модел , ама не можели да му го доставят , щото бил прототип! Че сега хеликоптер поръчали , но и там нещо се бавели с доставката!
Боже, колко мъка има на този свят, боже!

1.Е, сега разбра ли, защо не искам да завършвам? Да не съм мазохист, да причинявам такива страдания на изтерзаната си подрастваща психика?!

2.Разбирам те напълно и отговорността да взема това тежко решение “Да бъда абитуриент или да не бъда?” ще тежи и на моята крехка душа в следващите 5 години! Да , това е въпросът !

1.Ама вие не му мислете !

2. Вече сте абитуриенти,почти сте готови за “Сървайвър” и дали с хеликоптер или с каруца, вече сте решили!

1 и 2 Така че пълен напред в живота!!!!

[summer656]

къде изчезна Кака Радка да не си е намерила мъж и да му е родила някое дете и няма време за телевизионни изяви хахахахха

[Фило]

1. /клиент/отива на касата на Енергото:
1. Стой! Това е обир!
2./касиерката/ Къде ви е пистолетът?
1.А аз питам ли те, къде са ти парите?
2.Ама какъв обир е?
1.Пладнешки, к'ъв. Но не си познала, няма да ги дам!
2.Ама чакайте, така не може, къде отивате?
1.Ей на!- Опит и за незаконно задържане...
_________________
Ей сега вече я втасахме

[maxart]

Зима. Детска градина. Следобед. Децата се подготвят за тръгване и възпитателките и лелките помагат при обличането. Четиригодишния Боби нещо се бави с обувките и една от лелките идва на помощ. Високите обувки на хлапето влизат с мъка, сякаш са с поне два номера по-малки, но накрая, потънала в пот жената се справя, само за да чуе:
- Ама те са на обратно!...
Поглежда и се вцепенява - наистина дясната и лявата са разменени. Оказва се, че процесът на сваляне е почти толкова трудоемък, колкото и слагането. В края на краищата, обувките заемат полагаемите им се места, а Боби съобщава:
- А това не са моите обувки!...
Лелката буквално се изприщва, нервно (но далеч по-бързо, благодарение на натрупания опит) ги сваля и пита:
- А къде са твоите?
- Вкъщи. Татко ги залепи, а аз днес съм със старите обувки на батко Влади.
Едва сдържайки се да не закрещи, лелката подновява усилията по поставянето на зимното снаряжение. Когато най-после приключва, оглежда детето, после разравя и шкафчето му и със смес от надежда и отчаяние пита:
- А къде ти са ръкавичките?
- Като дойдох сутринта, ги сложих в обувките...

[Sashko]

Ето това мисля че ще се получи много яко със ахилесов и даскала

Много пиян студент влиза на изпит и заеквайки пита професора.
- Профффесоре, ще иззззпитате ли един мноооого пиян студент.
Професора разбира се се пробва да го изгони, но студента продължава да пита настойчиво.
Накрая на професора му писнало и казал:
- Добре де.
...А студента се обърнал към вратата и се провикнал
.- Готово, внесете го ...

[Vincedevin]

Двама приятели отиват на гъба.Пристигат до едно място и решават да се разделят.Единият тръгва в една посока,другият тръгва в друга посока и се разбират след 1 час да се срещнат на същото място.След 1 час единият идва,но другия го няма.Този дето е дошъл чакал,чакал 2-3 часа започнало да става късно и той решил да си тръгва.Взел една пръчка и написал на пясъка.
-''АЗ СИ ТРЪГНАХ"

За да може другият като дойде да го види.Тръгнал си,а другият идва по някое време и вижда горе посочения надпис на пясъка.
Взел пръчката изтрил надписа и написал:
- ''И АЗ СИ ТРЪГВАМ"

[riham]

Пич, спри да пишеш сам с 50-те си профила... разбираш ли, личи си, че сам си ги постваш тия глупости. Най-малкото, не е възможно да има толкова много тъпи хора в една тема, които да си говорят за такива тъпотии. И или те гони шизофренията, или бесния селски пубертет, или онанизма, а може и трите... успокой се, гледай "Порно с Галена" и това е.
_________________
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